Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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