with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
