Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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