Don't you send me to vm
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
