Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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