i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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