I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize