what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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