I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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