sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
