I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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