do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
