you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
