Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
