Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize