We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
