Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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