Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
