thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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