what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
