So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
