i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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