this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
