pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
