a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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