I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My pussy is not your playground.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
