It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
