I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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