Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
