billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
