Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
