He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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