Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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