I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
