yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
