i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
