meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
