just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
