call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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