Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
