Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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