Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
