Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
