halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There r osticjed everywhere
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
