brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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