i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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