i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
