You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
