are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize