god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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