I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
