lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
