chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
