I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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