Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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