I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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