just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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