Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
