I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
