am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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